I have soon to be 7 year old VERY fraternal twin girls. We have gone through so many developmental stages, and have so many more ahead of us.What are the best pieces of advice I can share for those parents in the thick of it, or that have recently found out they are expecting two and are feeling very overwhelmed?
- If these are your first, you know no different. Having a newborn is hard. Period. You just happen to have two! You get used to doing everything twice. Your friends with singletons will look at you like you are a super hero. But you manage!
- Do not compare your twins. They are siblings, even though they may look exactly alike (or not) that just happened to be born the same day. They will hit their developmental milestones at different times, and that is OK! One may also be bigger than the other-that is also OK! They are not the same child.
- Breastfeeding twins is hard-but not impossible. Give yourself a break. Having multiples is challenging enough, and if your breastfeeding journey is making you unhappy-let it go. Remember that a happy mom means a happy baby. Get the support you need and don’t pressure yourself into doing something that does not work for you.
- You may have one easier baby, and that can change! My baby A was always more challenging. She took longer to eat, was fussier, had a harder time sleeping…..but then that changed! And changed again! Nothing in parenthood is a constant, especially if you have multiples!
- Everything difficult is a phase. Don’t think that it will last forever-because it won’t. Before you know it, you will have moved on to the next phase. And you will barely remember that difficult time!
- People LOVE twins. So expect lots of attention, and lots of questions/comments. (Sometimes a bit illogical and personal) “Are they identical?” “Do twins run in your family or did you do fertility treatments?” “It must be so hard! I cannot even imagine!”
- Remember-you have double the chances for your baby to climb out of the crib, or stick a fork into that outlet, or try to swing from that lamp shade. Baby proofing is KEY-as if one doesn’t do it, the other most likely will!
- Travel! Do not let having multiples stop you from travelling. It is hard but totally do-able. And the memories are priceless. My twins started travelling at 10 weeks (our easiest trip) and we haven’t looked back. And remember-they fly free before 2!
- Accept help. It really does take a village. Have your visitors bring food or have a friend set up a meal train for those first few weeks.
- It does get easier- I promise. Your twins are each other’s constant playmate and source of entertainment. When they really start interacting and playing is a magical moment-and they will have that special bond forever. So treasure every moment, even the hardest ones. They will be grown up before you know it.
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About the author
Meredith Mortimer is TLC’s Miami associate and a mother to 7 year old very energetic twin girls. Born in Los Angeles, Meredith lived in Spain for 8 years before relocating to Miami and has worked in television marketing for over 10 years. With a BA in psychology, Meredith’s passion for being a mom to multiples is apparent. She is an active participant in moms groups and provides support and advice wherever she can, and will even go up to complete strangers who have multiples to offer words of encouragement. Meredith is also passionate about health and overall wellness, and is an avid runner and yogi. You can reach Meredith at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information on our Miami services.