We survived the first year, then we survived the second. We’ve successfully transitioned to toddler beds, giving potty training a go and can navigate the subways with a double stroller like champs. It feels like time is flying by and our babies are turning into chatty, happy, playful little boys. Were two fulltime working moms depending on an amazing nanny to manage the daily schedule. Where do we find time for us?
I recently decided I was on a mission to wrangle a relative to babysit so we could have a night alone at a hotel. That was surprisingly the easy part. Convincing my wife to leave them overnight in someone else’s care was the challenge. I was so excited to sleep in I couldn’t wait. Everything was in place and we headed 12 blocks from home for a staycation and some rest and relaxation. We were able to reconnect and disconnect. I admit we checked in a few times thanks to our nest cam but mostly we focused on us and not schedules and diaper orders and meal planning for 15 whole glorious hours.
I realize this isn’t doable for many twin parents and we are very fortunate to have a village helping us raise our little men, but I want to stress how important it is to find time to focus on the love that grew your family. I’d like to share some things I’ve learned after overcoming postpartum and going back to work when my boys turned two.
Find time to be together, make it a rule not to talk about the chores and responsibilities that come with parenting. Play a board game with each other, snuggle up for a glass of wine and a movie, make time for a date night even if that date night is staying in, declaring it time for you to just be a couple will help strengthen the marriage and in turn will help your family function better.
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Living in an apartment building we discovered that alternating nights out with another family in the building was a great way to stick to our budget and get some free babysitting. After bedtime one of us pops over to the others apartment and hangs out for a couple of hours. How ever you can find the time make it a priority. The first few years with kids especially twins is a huge adjustment but remember this recipe and hopefully you will find balance.
About the author
Mindy Darwish is TLC’s NYC Associate and a proud mom to fraternal twin boys, Phinn and Sam. Prior to having her twins, Mindy was a career nanny who spent 15 years caring for children ranging in age from newborn to teens. She is well versed in different child-rearing practices and supportive products. Raised in Miami, Mindy moved to NYC 11 years ago. She and her wife learned a lot during a difficult pregnancy highlighted by 5 weeks of bedrest and a 12 day NICU stay for her boys after they were delivered at 35 weeks. Mindy has immersed herself in the twin community and is a member of multiple twin groups and mom meet up groups. You can reach Mindy at firstname.lastname@example.org for more details on our NYC services.