Here at Twin Love Concierge we are responsible for all the needs of expecting Twins Moms, so through our clients we fast realised that the use of a Doula in a twin pregnancy is becoming the next big thing! I must admit when I was pregnant with Twins I considered using a Doula but I got lost in the whole c-section process, bi-weekly scans, Doctor’s appointment etc that i didn’t investigate enough what the benefits could have been for having one. Having heard our resident blogger, Kate DiRienzo-Payne story of the amazing birth process she went through, I had to have her share for other expecting Twin Moms – because hey anything that can de-stress the multiple birth process is worth a look into right? Kate shares her story:
What is a Doula?
About 6 months into my pregnancy I signed us up for our birthing class. It was a little early but I knew that with twins we could easily deliver them before our due date so off my husband and I went to class on Wednesday nights. He wasn’t happy about once a week, for 6 weeks, having to talk about wombs, placentas, dilation and all that goes into delivering a baby. However, I gave him no choice, we were going. He knew nothing about labor and delivery and I was not about to go into that with a man who closed his eyes every time someone gave birth on TV.
Our class was taught by two doulas and was amazing! We both learned so much and it was nice to take part in something that showed the father how he can be part of the pregnancy. We learned quite a bit to help aide the mother through delivery. We also learned about inversions and ways to move the baby into the ideal birthing position and different techniques to alleviate the weight of carrying around 2 babies all day every day. I mean this stuff was gold. Not to mention post-partum. I was prepped for delivery but totally unprepared for what came next. They had so much insight into helping a mom recover after delivery.
My Husband’s Idea
About half way through our class Kris mentioned that maybe we should use a doula during delivery. My first reaction was no. I felt confident that I could get through labor with just us. But as the weeks went on, these doulas taught us so much and we could really see their true enthusiasm for childbirth. And while our OB was amazing and our hospital great, we would still be one of many patients there. These women were such advocates for the mother and the family that when he brought up again to use a doula, I agreed. And it was the best decision we have ever made.
About 3 hours into labor I told my husband, call Kate. When he suggested maybe we wait, the nurses had told us it would be a long night, I “politely” “suggested” he could wait but I wanted her there. She had already given me the confidence to trust my body and I knew I needed her. As soon as she arrived the energy in our room shifted. It became a calm, peaceful atmosphere.
If a sparkly piece of jewelry with your babies named engraved on it is the go to push present for the mom, a doula should be the push present for the dad. Her being there allowed Kris to truly be there for me and present for the birth of the babies while she handled the dirty work. I never got annoyed with him or felt like he wasn’t helping and he never felt helpless. Because it is not easy for anyone to see someone they love in such pain and Kate, our doula, was able to show him ways to help me.
The calm energy we needed
She innately knew when to suggest I move into a new position, somehow during a particularly painful contraction I would feel warm stones on my back easing each contraction. At one point as I was clinging to the side of the bed a lovely waft of eucalyptus floated by and it completely distracted me from the searing pain traveling across my body.
And though nurses kept telling me it was too early to be in active labor when I told Kate I could feel something coming out of me she calmly lifted my gown, walked out of the room and got the nurse to let them know that baby A was starting to emerge, still in his bag. I never had to panic because she was so calm and self-assured. She also helped my husband get his scrubs on, due to having twins we would have to delivery in the ER and he had put them on backwards. As I was wheeled down the hall into the ER she and my husband were high fiving and she kept saying “aren’t you psyched? This is going to be so amazing!” Just pure positivity every step of the way.
She also grabbed my husband’s phone and unbeknown to us at the time, took pictures during delivery, which have become priceless. It is insane delivering two babies and it was such a gift to look back at those pictures and see my babies being born. I was so focused on getting them out that I didn’t really get to see them coming out.
It was crazy in the ER, there were a lot of nurses, a couple pediatricians, an anesthesiologist incase of an emergency c-section, just a lot of masked faces. Being able to see Kate’s eyes above her mask and hear her encouraging words was everything to me during delivery. It also allowed my husband to do skin to skin with our first born and still have someone there for me while I delivered our second child, who was breech.
My husband and I both truly believe we wouldn’t have gotten through our labor with such ease and no drugs without her. And that was just the start. Prior to our delivery we met and she gave me a list of things to prepare for myself when I get home. And that saved me. When you get home from the hospital and have 2 tiny babies who’s survival now depends on you and you are exhausted and your body is all over the place, it can be scary. Everything piece of advice she gave to us about post-partum, I used. Things I had never before heard about, a sitz bath for instance, was a life-saver!
Then the kicker, a couple weeks after delivery she came over to check on us and brought with her two envelopes. One for each of our sons. It was their birth story. With so much going on during labor, delivery and your sleep deprived nights, she knew that every detail of that magical night could not be recalled my husband or I. So she put it on paper for each of our children to have so they will know about the night they were born. For that and so, so, so much more I will forever be indebted to her.
Kate DiRienzo-Payne is an East Coast transplant living in Los Angeles with her husband, dog and stunning 17 month old twin boys. Before the twins she spent her time writing, acting and producing, living the quintessential LA lifestyle. After her twins she barely has time to write, has watched other people act in the 2 movies she has seen since the twins were born and barely felt the warm California sun on her skin for the first 6 months. Now life is totally different and she spends most of her time trying to navigate being a twin mom, but it is filled with more laughter, fun and overwhelming heart exploding love than she could ever imagine.
Are you considering using a Doula in a twin pregnancy – Twin Love Concierge can help you find the one for you. See www.twinloveconcierge.com for more details and to get in contact with us!
‘Every new and expecting Twin parent needs a little T.L.C’