From the moment you heard the words “You are having twins (triplets, quads)!” You instantly joined this secret society of mothers of multiples. You were immediately put in a different category of motherhood. Your pregnancy will be different and be closely monitored, you are told to expect an early arrival, you are preparing for two or more babies to come home. Your friends and family are there for you, but they don’t get it like other moms of multiples do.
Joining the local mother’s of multiples club was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I found a group of women who were going through life like me. All these women are raising multiple birth children and some of them with bonus singletons or multiple multiples. Finding a club that not only supports its members but your family as well.
Friendship– Raising multiples can be isolating. I have found that mothers of multiples want to make friends and they will welcome you with open arms. They want to make connections with women who are going through similar experiences as them. They are kind, generous and will not judge you for being yourself.
Playdates– Playdates are the best. Since both families are bringing two or more kids to the playdate, that guarantees the moms might get a moment to chat. Your children get to work on building friendships, sharing and playing with others.
Meetings– Some mothers of multiples clubs offer monthly meetings. These meetings are different for every club. Meetings could be dinner and social gathering or an educational opportunity. The club I belong to brings in a guest speaker each month to cover different topics that include parenting, relationships, financial planning, and safety. Meetings also guarantee you one night out a month without kids.
Support– Clubs can offer a wide range of support for their members. Some offer meals when you or a family member is hospitalized. Others offer preemie closets, which borrow out preemie clothes for the short amount of time your multiples are in preemie size clothing. And other clubs have fundraising drives to support members during the holiday season.
Workshop– Some states offer workshops for all the mothers of multiples chapters. Each year the workshops are hosted by different clubs throughout the state. This is an opportunity for moms to relax, learn and refresh. There are spa sessions, parenting classes, shopping and time away with your girlfriends.
Lifetime bond– The women you meet and become friends with will continue to be life long friends because of this amazing you bond you have as mothers of multiples. You will be there for each other when they experience their babies births, their first birthdays, first day of Kindergarten, high school graduation, sending them off to college. These women will be there to support you, encourage you, pick you up when you are feeling your best. The bonds you build with other mothers of multiples will continue on with you for the rest of your lives.
Find your tribe
If you have not joined a local mothers of multiples club yet, the best way to find one in your area is to search on Google. Next, ask other moms of multiples you know. If you don’t know any mothers of multiples, stop one at the grocery store or the zoo. Facebook can be a great resource as well. There are national groups, local groups, sub groups of larger local groups. Find your tribe early in your multiples journey. If you already have multiples, take the time to reach out and start making connections.
About the author
Krista Vanderveren is TLC’s Minnesota associate, is a mother to three, she has a 5 year old singleton boy and 3 year old fraternal twin girls. She holds a Bachelor’s of Science in Exercise Science and a Master’s Degree in Elementary Education. She is on the board for the Minnesota Valley Mother’s of Multiples organization and is active in the mother’s of multiples community in the twin cities. Krista is excited to share her experience and knowledge as a mother of multiples and making connections with expecting families of multiples. We are blessed to all be on this journey of raising multiples. You can reach Krista at firstname.lastname@example.org for more details on our Twin Cities services.