One of our resident Twin Love Concierge contributors, Marsha Adell, reflects on her first year with Twin daughters – Morgan Sage and Zoe Grace. This article was first published for preggie app a free online resource for new and expecting moms.
Time seems to go slow when I look ahead, but fly by when I look back
I look back and think “where did the time go?” My girls will be one in a month and I feel like I was just bundling them up to take them home from the hospital. But when I look to the future, it seems like forever before they finish teething, get potty trained and say their first “I love you” to me. My gauge of time hasn’t been steady, but it just means I have an appreciation for the present.
There’s relief in knowing my girls will always have a best friend
I was of “advanced maternal age” (read: older than 35) when I had my girls and don’t intend to have any more children. There’s some comfort in knowing that my girls will never be an only child and will always have each other. On the other hand, it also means that I may be wedged out of their conversations beginning as early as now – as they chat back and forth!
How to say “Thank you” graciously
An offer to help? “Thank you!” A compliment to my girls? Thank you! It didn’t always come so easy to say. Like many other women, I used to downplay compliments and shrug off kind words as undeserved. Now, I’ve learned to even appreciate when other people acknowledge that being a mom of twins is hard work and that I’m doing a good job!
Maybe my parents really didn’t have a favorite
As kids, my brother and I probably disagreed about who our mom and dad loved more. As a mom of twins, I can’t imagine loving one of my girls more than the other. Is it possible that my parents were right? Perhaps they feel like I do, they both are my favorite!
Though sometimes inconvenient, pump sessions were also “me time”
I introduced my girls to a bottle because I had to eventually return to work after 3 months. At 6 months I started them on solids. At 11 months old, I still pump every 3 hours for 15 minutes (sans the 3am pump session) which means I take my pump everywhere. It also means that every 3 hours, I have 15 minutes of time to myself, usually uninterrupted and quiet. It’s inconvenient, but also a chance to settle down in an otherwise chaotic day.
Twice the “firsts”!
Though they’re twins, there hasn’t been an expectation that my girls would hit the same milestones at the same time. They have different personalities, temperaments and dispositions. On different time tables, it’s amazing for one to unknowingly deliver the message that the other is going to to do something cool soon!
Being out in public with twins is like being a celebrity!
I strive to be respectful of the clock, but didn’t realize that I had to consider how much the public loves twins! Twin strollers are magnets for people of all types to ooh and aah over not one, but TWO babies! They’ll gush over the girls, ask the most ridiculous questions and leave waving with a smile. This means routine trips to the store and walks around town become events that often take an unforeseeable amount of time.
The right gear is better than twice the gear
There are so many companies that offer tons of gear for mom and their little ones. Being a twin mom means being inundated with the option to buy two of everything. DON’T! It’s better to get the right equipment and gear that works for your lifestyle, your space and your twins than to collect two of everything that doesn’t work, fit or or is inconvenient or cumbersome.
Advice from singleton moms doesn’t just “double and apply”
I love that people feel comfortable to share with me tips that helped them grow as a mom. Unfortunately, those nuggets of knowledge don’t always apply to moms of twins because it’s just different. For example, logistically, it’s just different to travel, feed, change and dress twins. It’s not like moms of twins can multiply your suggestion by two and make it work. Luckily though, it may plant a seed for something that may work.
It takes a village
My friends, neighbors, the pediatrician, the Twins Love Concierge class, my Moms of Multiples club, my mom when I need reassurance, my dad when I need some logic. It really does take a village to raise a child, or rather, twins. With my village, I don’t have to rely on my own strength and ingenuity that becomes questionable after so many sleepless nights and worrisome moments. I learned that I don’t have to reinvent the wheel, I don’t have to go it alone and I am humbled by everyone who has shown us love.
Twin Love Concierge are the USA’s premier team of Twin Specialists. We assist twin (and triplet) parents by ensuring the pre and postpartum time is stress-free so that they may enjoy the next stage of their lives. From essential twin baby gear, preparing Moms for a multiples birth through to feeding, sleeping and scheduling expert advice, we have it all covered in our classes and consultations. www.twinloveconcierge.com